CALL ME A SLUT.

Yeah, so Rush Limbaugh called a graduate student a slut because she takes birth control.  And today he finally issued a bullshit apology that you can find on his website.  I'm not gonna link to it, because I don't really want anyone to ever look at his website ever.  I'm sure it'll be quoted on CNN or somewhere else so that you don't have to have that in your web history.

Is your wife on the pill, Rush?  I mean your fourth wife, the one you have now.  You've been married FOUR TIMES and never had a child?  I'm going with three options here:
  1) You're shooting blanks.
  2) You're the luckiest son-of-a-bitch on the planet.
    2a) Rhythm method really works!
  3) YOUR WIVES USED THE PILL.  ZOMG AMAZEBALLS

But then I guess that would be okay, because presumably, they didn't have sex until they were married to you, right?  And certainly, you wouldn't marry someone who had fibroid tumors of the uterus, endometriosis, or had amenorrhea (that's NO PERIOD, Rush) because their reproductive system was damaged by chemotherapy.  Because, you see, Rush, the birth control pill isn't just prescribed so that I can go fuck anything with a dick.  The birth control pill can actually HELP some people get pregnant by giving them a period--that's part of how we make babies, Rush.

And really, your issue isn't with the idea that sluts--er, I mean, women, use the pill.  It's that you don't want to have to pay for it...or if you do, you want to see a video of me having sex if you do.  Excellent.  I'd be glad to oblige.  But since we're all about fair, I'd like to see a video of every man in America who's using Viagra having sex.  Oh wait--NO I FUCKING WOULDN'T.


I've seen people say in the last couple of days that giving him this much attention only fuels the fire, etc.  You know what?  That's bullshit.  This guy is a misogynist asshole who is perpetuating negative stereotypes of women in order to bolster the self-esteem of his ignorant fanbase and line his own pockets with advertising dollars from companies that seek to exploit that fanbase.  ENOUGH.

Come call me a slut, Limbaugh--call me one to my face, you coward.  You're no better than a wife-beater:  you only attack people who are weaker than you, because it makes you feel better about yourself and because you think you deserve to.

Call me a slut to my face, Rush.  Come right to Duluth--hell, I'll come to you--and call me a slut.  Call me a slut because I think that I deserve (and my daughter deserves, and my mother, and my friends, and your wife deserve) to have free access to a significant medication--no, Rush, not oxycontin.  Call me a slut because I refuse to be labelled by a middle-aged white Republican who I can GUARANTEE has had sex with more people that I have in my life (I'm at two, Rush--you've got to be at at least 4 if you slept with all your wives...got any others?  Are they sluts too?).

Call me a slut because I have a vagina and I'm not afraid to protect it in the way I believe is right.  Call me a slut because there have been times that I couldn't afford groceries without a credit card and by God, I decided that I needed my pills and borrowed $25 from my parents so I could get them (oh, and by the way, I worked full time and had my own house.  Put away your welfare card.).

Call me a slut because I don't buy your bullshit apology for one hot second, and because I'm quite certain that had you not started to lose advertisers, you'd have been on air on Monday spouting the same hate and bullshit that you've spouted since day one of your sad excuse for a program.

Call me a slut because now that you've opened your ignorant, hateful mouth, I have been forced to become one of the "feminazis" that you so love to degrade.

Call me a slut, Rush.  Right here, to this face.  And that one, and that one, and that one.  And all the rich ones and poor ones and ugly ones and beautiful ones and healthy ones and sick ones.  Check the census, Rush.  There are more of us than there are of you.  Perhaps instead of labelling those of us who choose to control our own bodies "sluts", you might want to thank the sluts in your life for everything they contribute to your life every fucking day.

And then, after you've done that, after you've called all of us sluts and made yourself and your listener base that you so love to exploit feel better about yourselves, please disregard everything I've said.  Because really, I didn't mean it as a personal attack.

I AM A SLUT.  Many of my friends are sluts.  And I hope that more women become sluts in the near future because they will be able to afford to.  SLUTS, UNITE!